How to find the right guide or mentor for your life
If you're feeling lost and hopeless, it can be tough to know where to turn.
You might feel like you need someone to show you the way, but how do you find the right guide or mentor?
In this post, we'll explore some ways to find someone who can help you on your journey.
A good mentor can make all the difference.
So let's get started!
Define what you want in a mentor
To find a mentor that will meet your expectations you first need to know what those expectations are.
I suggest writing down 3 things that are important for you in a mentor, such as:
- Experience Level
After you have the top 3 things you want in a mentor try to describe this mentor.
The description can be as detailed as:
“I'm looking for someone who is authoritative, yet sympathetic, and who understands my unique journey I am going through. They need to be able to provide loving guidance with empathy and hope. I want to find someone who can help me heal. They will be able to help me understand by providing direction and support without passing judgment or criticism. I'm looking for someone who not only values kindness but is living proof that it can be done. Ultimately, I'm seeking a mentor who encourages growth and acknowledges my mistakes lovingly as I start on this journey.”
Or it can be as broad as:
“I’m looking for someone who has gone through the experience I have gone through, knows how to communicate with me, and is free.”
How To Research Your Options And Find Your Mentor
When considering the pros and cons of mentors or guides for healing, it is important to really get to know yourself first.
By being aware of what areas you feel uncertain about, and what aspects of change you are comfortable with, you can use this knowledge to help you be mindful and make the most informed decisions.
Ask yourself questions like:
- What qualities or values do I appreciate in myself?
- What kind of support am I looking for right now?
- How do I want to handle challenges along the way?
Once you have a better understanding of your needs and orientations, you can begin to assess potential mentors or guides with a sense of clarity.
Breaking down each choice into components that you can actually evaluate will help you make an informed, and thoughtful decision.
You may want to consider things like:
- Timeline (a professional with a 6 month waiting list, vs a parent that can start talking today)
- Resources (a professional that will cost $150 a session, vs a friend who is free)
- Risk Factors (a professional who has been trained in giving you the best unbiased advice for your situation vs a family member who is doing the best they can)
- Benefits (professional advice, unbiased opinion, but relationship is over once sessions and payments end vs friend with biased opinion, does their best with what they think is good advice, and a continual relationship throughout your life)
These Pros / Cons are not meant to steer you in one direction or another but instead are meant to get you thinking about what you would actually want in your support circle, and give you the peace of mind knowing you are on the best course for your journey.
A good guide or mentor should not only acknowledge your strengths but also guide and support you during difficult challenges, and changes.
They should be someone who listens intently and offers compassionate wisdom that brings about clarity in the midst of anything that may be causing chaos or confusion in your life.
Remember, when evaluating any potential mentors make sure their approach appeals to you before accepting them into your life.
Here are a few questions you can ask yourself about your prospective mentor to figure out if the person you have in mind is the right person for you.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Is this person facing their own personal problems right now?
- (If Yes, please disqualify this person immediately)
- Does this mentor have background experience or certification I can trust?
- Is this important to me?
- What qualities in a mentor or guide would best serve me?
- How does this particular person embody the qualities I am looking for?
- Can I afford this mentor?
- Will this person have my best interest at heart?
- Will this person provide direction without judgment?
- Will this person’s methods be in alignment with my healing?
- How well will they understand and empathize with what I am going through?
- Do they provide a safe space for vulnerable conversations?
- Will their guidance resonate with me?
- Can this person fulfill my needs as I am on this journey?
- Does this person’s presence/style/personality clash with me or flow with me?
- How do I feel when interacting with this person or their work?
- Do I feel comfortable with this person?
- Can I trust them and truly be vulnerable with them?
- Do I feel safe opening up to this person?
After you have chosen a mentor, always assess how much their advice improves or impacts your day-to-day life and if their opinion holds weight in how you are choosing to live your life.
If this is not happening then I give you permission to fire this mentor.
(Yes, even if it’s your Mom).
Where to find your prospective mentor:
- Consider your friends, family members, or work colleagues.
- If they are not a good fit, consider asking them for referrals on who they would trust.
- Look into credible and professional websites and forums.
- Also look for testimonials or reviews before trusting a website or forum.
- Additionally blogs can be a great way to get a feel for the overall help provided from websites.
- Google Search For Local:
- Mental Health Organizations
- Support Groups
- Mental Health Professionals
- Religious or Spiritual Guidance
- Check references from medical professionals.
- Most medical professionals will have a list of references you can refer to.
- Attend group meetings, seminars, or conferences.
- You can potentially find a mentor in either one of the presenters or attendees.
- Network with people in the field you are looking for a mentor on:
- Social Media (Linkedin, Instagram, Facebook, etc)
- Local Conferences, seminars, etc.
- Take advantage of
- Free Consultations
- Free Trial Sessions
Reach out regularly with your chosen mentor
When embarking on a mentorship, one of the most important steps you can take is to actually use your mentor regularly.
Establishing a regular timeline for check-ins or even just sending periodic updates can become a lifeline.
Additionally, when talking with your mentor, it’s vital that you be specific about what areas you need help in or want more guidance on.
Doing so will ensure that both of you have productive conversations that provide you with feedback and suggestions tailored to your journey.
Don’t be afraid to speak up if something isn’t working out—open communication between you and your mentor is essential for a successful journey!
Commit to reaching out to your mentor regularly in order to make the most of your mentorship.
Remember, ultimately it comes down to finding someone whose style resonates with yours--someone who cares about helping you travel through your own personal healing journey.